Think about everything

Hey I'm Brian,sometime I think that life is boring and sometime I think life is useless and meaningless....Imagine if I am gone,no one will remember me,my name...and everything I done in this world..I begin to hate my own life,thinking that no one care about me.I don't have any friends..I am just like a transparent for them..even that how hard I act friendly or kindly to them..before 3minutes you can see their smile on their face,after 3minutes..its gone...and I am just like a clown in the circle making them to be happy..I am so jealous and hate that people who are more famous than me..I hate that..because I scare to be alone..I can't make myself to be like that..No WAY!!?No way I can't be like that!!No..just because this is my life..Everytime when I tell myself like that..It seems nothing..How come my life will become like that?I asked the god..but the god never ever answer me even a word..I love to watch horor movie,especially those touching memories scene of those scary,while the (ghost,devil evil or whatever take the knife kill their prayer..Something happened and it can't turn back..I wish time could turn back..so I can change every mistaken that I had been fault...At last...I would say GOD BLESS...